“Oh look – holding the narrow end of the club DOES make a difference!!!”
So there I was, at 6.30a.m. (yes that is A and M) on a bank holiday Monday extracting myself from
the bed to make my long-threatened-much-delayed return to the wet, wild and wonderful world of
golf. I had been sought out to fill an aching void in a team who would have been incomplete without
me – a golfing emergency indeed…
Off we teed at roughly 7.42.36a.m. and I, as Ladies do, stepped up to drive first – and a fine straight
drive it was and ended up only a wee tad short of the fairway – my trusty muscle memory not
kicking in over fast then, eh? But the Big Fella, Mr Super Improver and the Short of Sight, Long of
Shot (SSLS) were strong enough to carry me through – and carry they jolly well did although their
shots were so darn good all I needed to survive was the requisite 4 drives that were the essential
component of my team membership.
And, lo, on the 3rd I stood bravely on the red tee area, driver in hand (I know it’s a Par 3 but I’m older
and colder than I was) and I buried my wild and irrational on-course anxiety re people – whom I
normally like but fear greatly with club in hand – and I hit a stonking peach of a shot to within 6’ of
the hole – tasty. Did I convert?? – Alas no, but the Big Fella rolled it in as 4 th putter for a sexy birdie
on the thirdie – lovely jubbly.
I fear I peaked early though – but tasty drives on the 7th, 13th and 14th had me sorted with my
requirements. And the 13th and 14th came AFTER I’d put on my waterproofs on the 10th – just in
time for the rain to stop – which was nice. It brought my layers up to 3 (bottoms) and 5 (tops) – you
try swinging anything wearing that much – I looked like an onion on a rampage.
However, the highlight of the day was the 16th – we were using the Big Fella’s drive with the rest
of us sorted, but I certainly need the practice so I decided to drive off anyway. Soft ol’ ground out
there as I buried my beautiful Titleist about 8” down – my fingernails were ruined, ruined I say,
ruined.
But the Team were laughing mightily (with me, not at me) and, thank the Lord, I sank the putt for
birdie on the green – redemption was mine. If only I’d done the same on the 18 th we’d have done
even better than the miraculous 3rd the lads achieved with me on the team – a mighty double result
– a prize AND I’m one of the fellas – joyful golfing world I’m back (at last)…. Did you miss me??